When a marriage has broken down, it can be difficult to decide which way to turn. Do you stay and try to work through the issues that have come between you and your spouse or do you finally walk away and start a new life for yourself? There are many aspects to ending a marriage – both emotionally and legally. Before making the final decision, the following are some of the issues a person should think about when considering divorce.

Will You Be Able to Support Yourself Financially?

If you are the primary wage earner, then this may not even be a question for you to consider, but if you are a stay-at-home parent or only work part-time, you will need to consider how you will be able to cover all of your expenses after your divorce is final. If this is your situation, your attorney may recommend seeking spousal support from your spouse.

Where Will You Live During and After the Divorce Is Final?

When a couple decides to divorce, one of the spouses will usually move out of the home they share together. Will this be you or will it be your spouse? Having this plan in place before you actually begin the divorce process is important.

For many couples who decide to divorce, the decision to end the marriage is usually a mutual one. While it may be one spouse who finally makes the decision to file, there has usually been some discussions about the dissatisfaction both spouses have with the marriage. However, there are also situations where one spouse files for divorce and the other spouse is completely blindsided by the legal action. In these cases, it is important for the spouse being served to act quickly and obtain legal representation in the event the spouse used the surprise “attack” for malicious reasons, such as hiding marital assets or interfering with a fair custody agreement.

Child Custody

If you and your spouse have children, the surprise divorce filing could also be an attempt to get the upper hand in any child custody decision the court makes, especially if your spouse had already made arrangements to move with the child out of the marital home, with or without your knowledge. The important thing to remember if this happens is that even if your spouse has left with your child, the courts will have the final say in custody issues, regardless of your spouse’s surprise move.

Any decisions the court makes is always based on what is in the best interest of the child. Denying access to your child could actually backfire on your spouse because courts do not approve of these types of tactics. Your attorney will aggressively advocate for you and your child to ensure a fair child custody and parenting time outcome.

The recent decision by the U.S. Supreme Court regarding Roe v. Wade has triggered a firestorm of both information and misinformation, from both sides of the political spectrum. One piece of information that recently went viral on Twitter was a post about it being illegal in five states to get a divorce if you are pregnant. One of the five states listed was Texas. This tweet has led many Texans to wonder if this is true or not.

Divorce When Pregnant

Although there is nothing in Texas law that specifically forbids a divorce while the wife is pregnant, the truth is that it is very rare for a divorce to be granted before the child is born. There are certain decisions that need to be made when a divorcing couple has a child, including child custody, visitation, and child support. If a divorce is granted prior to the birth of the child, those issues would not normally be part of the litigation and divorce agreement and would necessitate the couple having to go back to court after the child is born. Or, if they were included in the original divorce agreement and there ended up being special circumstances, those issues may have to be relitigated. Relitigating is something courts want to avoid, so any decisions about the divorce are held off until the baby has arrived. 

Some of these issues include:

The divorce process can be a long one, especially in a high asset or complex divorce. It can take months – if not longer – to finally come to an agreement with your spouse as to how certain issues will be determined. Although one may think that after all of the fighting and negotiations that the final divorce decree would be just that – final – the reality is that many couples end up back in court at some point in order to have parts of that decree modified.

Not all parts of divorce decree can be modified. For example, asset and property division can not be modified unless there is evidence that fraud occurred during the divorce process. But other parts, such as child custody, child support, or alimony, may be able to be modified if the requesting spouse can show a substantial change of circumstances.

Modifying a Child Custody Order

Child custody is one of the most difficult areas of family law. When making the final custody decision, the courts always rely on the best interest of the child doctrine. Once the final decision has been made, there must be a substantial change in circumstances that are or will have an impact on that best interest in order for the court to even consider modifying the original order, unless both parents are agreeing to the change.

There is no denying that divorce is stressful, even if you are the spouse who wants to end the marriage. It can be even harder if you and your spouse have children. One of the most difficult parts is breaking the news to your child about the divorce. So many couples have a hard time themselves understanding why the marriage is ending and wonder how will they ever be able to get their child to understand why.

Sharing the News as a Team

Although there may be much acrimony currently existing between you and your spouse, it is critical for your child’s emotional well being to be able to put up a united front for them. When the time comes to share with your child that you are divorcing, it is much better to have both parents do it together, rather than separately. This will help reassure your child that although their parents will no longer be together, their love and concern for their child will always be there. Having this security is crucial in your child’s acceptance of the situation.

Ask Questions to See What Your Child Already Knows

There’s an old saying, “little pitchers have big ears,” that aptly describes the hearing capacity of children when it comes to things they probably should not hear. While you and your spouse may have thought you were sheltering your child from the arguments and issues that have led up to the breakdown of your marriage, it is very likely that your child has a sense that things have not been right. They may have even been dealing with their own emotional stress over things they have overheard or seen, but were not able to understand.