Learning from Relationship Mistakes of Divorcees

 Posted on December 23, 2013 in Divorce

Throughout life, people make mistakes. Occasionally, these mistakes are small and forgotten as soon as they are committed. Other mistakes have long lasting effects and are difficult to move past. Divorce can occasionally cause regrets but it is important to learn from mistakes and try not to make them again.

According to data compiled by Dr. Terri Orbuch, most divorced people cite common regrets from their relationships. The longitudinal study followed over 350 couples who were between 25 and 37 years old. Over 25 years, 46 percent of the couples divorced, and of those Orbuch asked them about the errors they made in their relationships. Mistakes that they realized were contributing factors to their divorce. Dr. Orbuch hoped to use her research as a teaching tool to help others in their marriages.

Fifteen percent of the divorcees responded that they should have given their spouses more positive attention. A kiss, a compliment and other kinds of affection can increase a spouse's mood and strengthen a marriage. Not letting your spouse know that you support them emotionally can have far reaching consequences. Once the feeling of love is gone, then the relationship might be next.

Money management was also a mistake of many divorced people, with almost half saying they fought too much about it. The problem is that generally people talk about money when there are issues. Bills, taxes and other issues cause stress in any relationship. Having a plan and talking about money often can help keep both spouses together. Issues with money can also carry over into the divorce proceedings, be that division of property or spousal support.

Another common issue that contributed to divorce is blaming the other spouse. According to the study, 65 percent of divorcees admitted to blaming their spouse for relationship problems. Rather than focusing on a spouse's contribution to a problem, focus on a solution together. Sometimes, fixing these mistakes cannot turn a relationship around. For those instances, having the guidance of a legal professional is essential. Contact an experienced divorce attorney in Austin today if you want to begin the divorce process.