Avoiding "Ex Games"

 Posted on February 23, 2013 in Family Law

A recent Huffington Post article details some practical ways to soothe tensions with your ex-spouse following a divorce as you work toward a successful co-parenting relationship. Unfortunately, if you and your ex-spouse continue to pay the typical "ex games" that can stem from anger and hurt that is leftover from your divorce, you may inadvertently hurt your children in the process. No kid wants to be stuck in the middle between two parents, both of whom they love, even if they are no longer together. Luckily, there are a number of simple steps that you can take in order to work toward a more civilized, co-parenting relationship.

First, accept the fact that you and your ex-spouse are going to be forever linked by your child in common, or at least so long as your child is a minor. Therefore, you need to get accustomed to being in the same room with your ex, whether it is at baseball games, dance recitals, or at a visitation exchange location. Showing your child that you don't have to fight with your ex all the time can have a positive influence on your child and promote a health relationship between your child and your ex.

Next, do your best to keep your negative feelings to yourself. There is no need to question your child incessantly following a visit with your ex, even if you want to use that information to further criticize your ex in ongoing court proceedings. Your child still loves your ex-spouse, even if you don't. By keeping conflict between you and your ex to a minimum, and taking care not to discuss any problems or negative feelings that you have with regard to your ex, you can help foster a healthy relationship between your child and your ex, which is good for everyone involved.

No matter how difficult it seems, try and plan with your ex-spouse to some degree about issues related to your children, such as birthdays, vacations, gifts, and photos. There is nothing wrong with sharing cute photos of your children with one another on Facebook. Likewise, there is no need to outdo one another in the gift-giving department. Try to coordinate some of your gift-giving and momentous events with your ex-spouse, and your child will end up happier and emotionally healthier.

Finally, if, despite your best efforts, you still are experiencing constant disputes with your ex, it may be time to go to the court for relief, especially if those disputes center around your ex failing to pay child support, exposing your children to unsafe conditions, or other actions that could endanger your child. Contact your Austin attorney today in order to discuss any concerns that you may have about your ex, and get the advice that you need.