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Posted on in Divorce

divorce-mens-healthDivorce is rarely described as easy.  Despite the frequency of divorce, the impact of divorce is often significant.  And it seems to be particularly difficult for men.  An article in the Journal Of Men's Health, a peer-reviewed publication that addresses the disparity in life expectancy between men and women, discusses how divorce affects men's psychological, biological, social, and spiritual health.

Psychological Health

From a psychological and behavioral standpoint, unmarried men are more prone to depression, anxiety and substance abuse.  Men who divorce have lower levels of happiness and self-acceptance.  In fact, the article states that divorced or separated men are ten times more likely to undergo psychiatric care than married men.

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It's not uncommon to hear things about social media causing damage to a marriage or a divorce, whether it is by causing infidelity or providing evidence that one party is not fit to have custody of a child. However, some people are beginning to see the benefits that come with using social media whilst going through a divorce.

One simple way social media can aid in the divorce process is by providing a way to find various resources and services. You can use social media to look up information on how to handle custody or divorce in general, or even to look up a trusted attorney.

Virginia L Colin, Ph.D., a certified professional family mediator has stated that social media can be used to "find information about matters such as spousal support (alimony), how to tell the kids (you are getting divorced), whether retirement accounts are marital assets in their state," and so forth.

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divorce planDivorce is a whirlwind of emotions.  These emotions can occasionally cause those involved to act emotionally rather than rationally.  It is an important event in your life so avoiding mistakes is essential.  Learn from others to avoid these common errors that people make when thinking about divorce.

1. Not reviewing your relationship

When emotions run hot, it can be easy to let them cloud your decision making process, but try to focus long term.  Do you still love your spouse? Do you still have a spark for your partner?  Have they done something to you that you can't forgive and forget?  No one should be forced to settle, but make sure you take enough time to know what you want before you make a life changing decision.

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Little-Known Divorce Clause Causes Heartache in TexasA case earlier this year in Texas highlights a little-known immigration clause when it comes to divorce, according to Fox News. When Evangelina Zapata married Steve Summers, he signed an affidavit "vowing to support her so that she would not become a ‘public charge,'" Fox reports. Zapata was born in Mexico, and Summers needed to sign the affidavit as part of Zapata's quest for citizenship. The affidavit is formally known as Form I-864, published by the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. According to NOLO, the affidavit is "a legally enforceable contract, meaning that either the government or the sponsored immigrant can take the sponsor to court if the sponsor fails to provide adequate support." NOLO states that the sponsor is responsible until the immigrant becomes a U.S. citizen, or has "earned 40 work quarters credited toward Social Security [about 10 years of work], dies, or permanently leaves the United States."

The little-known clause of the matter is that the sponsor, according to Fox, is still on the hook for the person he or she sponsored—even if the marriage dissolves. Divorce is not a reason for the sponsor to not fulfill his obligations. According to NOLO, "yes, a divorced immigrant spouse could decide to sit on a couch all day and sue the former spouse for support." NOLO suggests having a separate contract that states the immigrant spouse would not do this, but admits that the courts may not uphold a contract agreement such as this.

This, of course, is exactly what's happening in the Summers case. The couple divorced four years ago, according to Fox, and the affidavit "is being held up by Zapata in her push to get Summers to pay her alimony. She has sued Summers in federal court for breaking the contract to support her at 125 percent of the poverty level." The problem, as one attorney told Fox, is that people sign these documents, they get filed, and people forget. And then they're on the hook for something they hadn't even considered after divorce.

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Posted on in Divorce

In the midst of all the tumultuous emotions connected to divorce, there's also the anxiety about breaking the news of your divorce to family, friends, and members of the community who might need to know. At a bare minimum, without know how to broach this situation, you might find yourself in some awkward situations. Knowing how to prepare yourself for this process can help to reduce those nerves and ensure the highest possibility for success.

LauraAuthor Constance Ahrons has identified several stages within the divorce process. The three stages at the outset of a divorce can be the most difficult to cope with, as there is a tremendous amount of change to manage. These three stages are the decision to divorce, the announcement of the divorce, and the actual separation itself.

When it comes time to tell family and friends about your decision, be prepared for the difficulty of this challenge. Unless your spouse was abusive or unusually cruel, there will be family members and friends who might be surprised by your decision and some may even want to argue over your choice. If you are able to, the best scenario is to sit down with your spouse and your family members to break the news together. You can work through what to say and come to an agreement on the presentation.

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